July 1, 2009
Re-Defining Winning in Youth Sports
Mark Heller's Monthly Column: July 2009
Category: Academy Headlines | Community News Headlines
Tags: Monthly Column
Playing sports is absolutely one of the best activities children can participate in. Aside from the obvious benefits that come from regular exercise, participation on a team can bring great lifetime benefits. Through team sports, children learn cooperation, how their responsibilities mesh with those of others to produce results, and how to strive for improvement together. The individual and collaborative skills learned in strong team sports experiences are very much aligned with what the 21st century workplace will require of our children. (See last month’s article on the value of arts experiences.) Though sports have the potential to be overwhelmingly positive, one cannot participate in youth sports today without encountering a darker, and very counter-productive spirit that has grown more and more intense in recent years. Perhaps it is born of the vast amounts of money professional athletes command in many sports today. Perhaps it is a result of the college scholarships exceptional athletes can earn. But to most observers, the culture of youth sports is in danger of becoming over-competitive, and thus risks losing its prime benefits. Rather than recount the horror stories of over-competitive, over-involved, and even violent coaches and parents that exist in the youth sports scene, I instead offer a series of points to keep in mind that will help your child have the best sports experiences possible. Rule #1: It’s About Having Fun After all, it is a game. Have fun! It ceases to be fun for kids when parents lecture, coach from the stands, or when parents or coaches take it too seriously. This leads directly to: Rule #2: It’s Not the Pro’s Professional sports are big business today. Professional sports are entertainment. In professional sports, the goals are winning and making money (and I’m not at all sure which comes first). In youth sports, winning is surely a goal. But more important than that, the true goal is education, helping to show students in some very direct ways lessons and principles that will help them learn to lead happy, productive, ethical lives. I very much believe in the principles espoused by the Positive Coaching Alliance, an excellent organization that has worked to improve our nation’s culture of youth sports. The PCA aims to “transform youth sports so that sports can transform youth.” Their first major principle is that coaches need to be “Double-Goal” coaches, coaches who want to win, but have a second, more important goal to use the sports experience to help young people learn life lessons and positive character traits, in essence, to be winners in life. The PCA defines a winner as one who The PCA believes that athletes who are coached under this value system tend to have lower anxiety, increased self-confidence, better performance, and, ultimately, more fun. It is of the highest importance to note that the values that redefine a winner are the same values that will lead to success in countless other (non-athletic) endeavors. PCA Founder and Executive Director Jim Thompson puts it this way: Children flourish with positive encouragement. Mistakes are okay. Doing one’s best is more important than winning or losing. Most athletes perform better when they focus on their effort, when their coaches and parents praise them and when they all stop looking at the scoreboard. “Kids’ anxiety goes up when they focus on things they can’t control, and self-confidence goes down. . . Focus on what you can improve. Ignore what you can’t. You can’t control calls. You can’t control the scoreboard. But you can control effort.” Here are a couple of ways you can use these ideas to help your child have a better sports experience: Rule #3: Respect Sports have the ability to teach in both positive and negative ways. Many of today’s professional (and sometimes even college) athletes have acted in ways we certainly do not want our children to imitate. To help ensure positive outcomes, we must stress the importance of sportsmanship, which really means respect. Avoid sending messages about bending the rules to win. Know that rules exist both to constrain and protect us. Respect both the letter and the spirit of the rules. Officiating at any level is very difficult. Yet games need officials in order to go forward. Officials at every level miss calls – it’s part of the game and should be part of the educational experience. Honor the game by honoring the people who make it possible to play. They are really doing the best they can. Even when we or our children disagree with a call, we must show respect to the official who made the call. Few situations present greater opportunities for young people to show dignity and maturity – or the opposite. Coaches give their time and effort for little or no compensation. They do it because they are committed to helping students grow through the experience of sports. Do not question or contradict your child’s coach from the sidelines or stands, or even at home in front of your child. The mixed messages that such criticism sends does much more harm than good. If you have a problem with a coach, speak to that coach privately, and never during or right after a game. Those high-emotion times can cause people to say and do things that will be counter-productive. All members of the team, even those who are not the big scorers, are important to the learning experience (and to the re-defined sense of winning). All members are trying their best to contribute. Each deserves the support of all, and none deserves to be embarrassed by comments or criticism born of frustration. A worthy opponent is a gift that forces us to play to our highest potential. We ought to try our hardest to win, but not at the expense of our integrity. Never promote your team by demeaning an opponent. Jeers and taunts have no place in youth sports. Sports can provide outstanding learning experiences for children of all ages. The spirit of winning defined above, fueled by honest competition, courteous relations, and graceful acceptance of the results can be a powerful teacher in ways that touch all aspects of healthy development and preparation for active citizenship and participation in the economic life of our community. Play ball!
