August 1, 2009
Taking Advantage of Our Car Culture
Category: Academy Headlines | Community News Headlines
Tags: Monthly Column
America and Americans have always had a love affair with the car. Ever since Henry Ford’s assembly line sent millions of automobiles onto the roads and into the garages of early 20th century America, cars have captured the American imagination. They’ve symbolized the freedom, mobility, and individualism that set us apart as a people. The car is deeply imbedded in American life, myth, and aspiration. So much of family life today involves the car: ferrying children to school and activities; family trips both long and short; and then, the rite of passage we both welcome and fear, teenagers behind the wheel. With very little effort, families can learn to take advantage of car time for many purposes. Why not use its power to your children’s and your family’s best advantage? The Car as a Motivational Tool Ask your pre-middle school child what kind of car he wants. Chances are, he may be able to tell you with a startling degree of detail about models you scarcely knew existed. Cars have always been cool to Americans of all ages and stations. Many kids today believe that they will be presented with a car upon receiving their driver’s license, usually immediately upon their 16th birthday. Whether that’s an appropriate expectation or not, use it to your advantage. Teach your child from early on that the surest route to a driver’s license is repeated demonstration of responsible choices. The mere fact of a 16th birthday should have very little impact on whether your child is allowed to apply for her driver’s license. The sooner your child knows this and the more resolve you show in sticking to your guns, the more likely it will be that your child will respond positively. The desire for the freedom that the driver’s license conveys is so strong that it can be coupled with the teaching of responsibility quite effectively. The Car as a Communication Tool The car is a setting that offers unique opportunities to connect with your child. While in the car, you are close and confined for a definite period of time. With older children you’re also sitting side-by-side, which definitely helps aid communication. Eye contact is necessarily limited, but is still possible. All of these formal elements help children to open up and say things that might not come in another setting. Being behind the wheel during any type of carpooling can provide a great window into your child’s life. It’s a time when you can hear many details: “Could you believe that Jen was talking to Scott?” “David is asking Maria to the dance.” Kids know you can hear, and as long as you stay quiet, you’re likely to learn a lot. Kids often give up these details so you will have some context, some understanding that will give you the ability to support them should things not go quite right later on. The key to using this setting to help ease communication is to restrain yourself! Avoid jumping in the conversations. Don’t ask a lot of follow-up questions. Avoid the “interrogation” that teenagers find so maddening. If you can stay quiet, chances are you’ll learn a great deal! Make the most of your car time by volunteering to drive when you can. It may be your best source for staying on top of the details of your adolescent’s life. The Car as an Educational Tool Car time can be used productively in many ways. On long car trips, videos, books on tape, and even podcasts offer many opportunities for customized, shared experiences that were not as readily available even a few short years ago. On the more old-fashioned side, mental math games, including times tables and rate, time, and distance problems can work well in some families. The radio can also be a great teaching tool. News and talk stations appeal to many, but your children can also learn a great deal from other programming, especially in how you respond to what you hear. This is especially true on the ride to school every morning. Many of today’s morning radio programs provide a stream of off-color and least-common-denominator comments. Having a rule that requires the station to be turned whenever you hear something objectionable could teach your children that you do not have to accept such language as OK. Act! What you model in this setting is how to be a discriminating consumer and that you do not approve of some things that are part of the culture. Just because those lyrics or that kind of talk is acceptable to others does not mean it is acceptable for your family. Consistent response to over-the-line comments in the music or the talk will help your child see the difference. Some Important Rules for Car Safety The car is the most dangerous place teens spend time in. According to the Centers for Disease Control, “Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for U.S. teens, accounting for more than one in three deaths in this age group.” [i] Further, drivers age 16 -19 are four times more likely than older drivers to get into an accident (per mile driven).[ii] The combination of judgment that is still developing and the necessarily limited experience of our youngest drivers is a dangerous mix. This is made worse by the presence of distractions in the car. Cell phones, food, the radio, and especially friends, are all very dangerous things for teenagers to have in the car. The presence of passengers has an enormous impact in drawing the young driver’s attention and focus away from the road. I advise you to set rules limiting the number of passengers your teen can have in the car. Start with one, and only increase the number if you feel your teen has shown sufficient responsibility to warrant an expansion of the privilege. Remember, driving is a privilege; it is not a right. Be strong enough to fight through the indignant reaction you will likely get from your teen. Don’t be afraid to cite statistics like the ones in this article to help impress upon your teen the awesome power of the car to both give and to take away. ¯¯ [i] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web-based Injury Statistics Query and Reporting System (WISQARS) [Online]. (2008). National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (producer). www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars. [ii] Driving:Through the Eyes of Teens, A Research Report of CHOP and State Farm, F.K. Winston, M.D., Ph.D., et al., 2007.
